Hi,
I'm back, and I'm trying to be constant with my blog. But sometimes I don't know how to put my feelings in words. Like last time it is almost midnight, and I should go to bed. But I know I haven't done enough work today, so I try to write something to have a feeling that I made something creative, that I made one more point from my to-do list. I'm sometimes scared that my passions are illusions. I'm afraid that one day I will wake up and realize that love to art, a dream of becoming a concept artist, fun from capoeira, that all of this is not real and I lost my time. If I love to draw, why I'm not drawing every day? Why, if I love capoeira, I don't practice and learn about music and history? I feel mediocre. I learned to have a distance to everything, to observe, and not to act. Now, I can't give my heart to things that important to me. I watch like my time is passing through my fingers. And I try to hide, so I play games, or watch YT or read books. I watch someone else's stories and lives, just to not see the time. Maybe that's why I feel a great connection to Dali's painting: The Persistence of Memory. These molten watches were always on my mind, the broken sound of the passing time.
What to do now? I don't know. Maybe I need a real break, and I need to change my surroundings to find my lost heart.
This post is more personal than I planned, but I needed to write this down. I hope I soon find the way and then I will share with You.:)
Below: crab-human musician.
A lot of love
Królik